Going through my search stats is always interesting. I keep track on keywords and popular search words and have been doing so for many years. Sometimes the search results makes me freak out, and I have had a good laugh the past years. So why don’t just write a blog post to clear things up and share the glory with you guys. Let’s start with this months top weird and not so werid searches!
“Barefoot horse, is it worth it?”
“Swimming bikini on horse back”
Absolutely possible, but I recommend wearing a helmet too. Check out all my best advice for going swimming with horses here.
“What will happen if a horse kiss me”
You will most likely turn into Horseman and spend the rest of your days cantering through the streets of New York in order to save the population from evil forces.
“(How do I) teach a horse to lie down?”
By following this link.
“matildebrandt bikini on horse”
… dude. Really?!
“Pinterest bareback nude ride horse”
I think you gotta go somewhere else for that. I will double check my SEO so you avoid ending up here next time.
“Repellent against tree-mites”
I have no idea about mites in trees, but I have written a blog post about chiroptes equi here.
“Long reins wiener”
I hope it was supposed to say “Wien”.
“How do I know when my broken collar bone is healed?”
It takes a few weeks. Count the days, or go to the doctor.
“Matilde Brandt Bloggerne”
(Unfortunatelty?) Batman and I ended up in the Norwegian TV-series “Bloggerne” this spring. Bloggerne is basically a tv show about Norway’s most popular bloggers. You know, the regular ones who writes about their children’s personal lives, recommend a new lipstick twice a week, violate the law every other day and causes as much drama as absolutely possible to get more attention. I wrote a blog post back in 2009, on a Norwegian site for equestrians, and asked the community there about advice when it came to the “intimate hygiene” of geldings. And ooooof course some perverted dude Googled that eight years later while the cameras were running and the entire thing, with my name on it, ended up on national television.
“Where can I get a Batman horse”
It is not like we have a factory producing them ..
“How do I fix my horse’s problem with…”
Complex behavior problem-questions are impossible to solve via Google. Please contact a professional and seek proper help. I recommend www.pluvinel.com, you’ll find many great trainers there.