Batman is doing perfectly fine when the temperatures are dropping. With free access to hay and shelter and warm fur which provides great isolation, he can handle everything from blizzards to icy hills. But what about ME? The winter can be a hard time for horse-owners in Norway.
We are always prepared to freeze our fingers off just to get that goddamn halter on. Frozen water must be fixed twice a day because horses basically don’t drink ice, and yep, you must sacrifice your poor fingers for that too. We attack frozen horse shit with tools more fitting for the 18th century coal mining industry in the cold, harsh darkness. Before riding, you’ll find yourself spending half an hour on removing icicles from your horse’s fur. The best technique is to remove your gloves and melt the icicles with your fingers, before you gently pull them out of the fur. IT’S PAINFULLY COLD! But the most comfortable method for the horse, of course. Defrosting carrots is also a fun job, and did I mention frozen halters, blankets, hay, buckets, lead ropes, brains and frozen everything else in general?
Through the winter you will also develop some great ice skating skills as the time goes on. Try lead a horse up and down a road covered in ice twice a day, believe me, you’ll be ready for the Olympics when April finally arrives.
How on earth do we survive this struggle here in the north, I ask myself on a regular basis. Well, the answer to that is the varmedress. We wear something in Norwegian called a “varmedress”, which basically means “warm suit”. Only three types of people wear this fascinating piece of fashion in Norway: hobos, kindergarten employees and yeah, frustratingly cold equestrians leaving their fancy Kingsland Down jacket at home for once, because some days, it is simply TOO COLD for that shit.
So this, my dear friends, is today’s outfit! You simply can’t freeze to death wearing a varmedress. (But you might look like an obese teletubby, but a warm one!) The more X’es in front of the L you can get, the warmer it is. The varmedress will always take care of you, no matter what. I love my varmedress.
Peace, love and snowy Friesian hugs,
Batman, Matilde + the Varmedress