Yep, my Instagram is filled with stunning photos of me riding Batman bareback in a tiny white dress and that’s of course how we live our lives. My horse living outside 24/7 in cold Norway is always jet black and shiny and I’m rarely wearing shoes. Every time I ride, there is a professional photographer there to capture the moment. I normally only ride through the woods bridleless and bareback while singing Celtic folklore songs. Sometimes, wild deer join us in our fairytale.
Sorry guys … Yes, my Instagram do reflect what I do together with my horse in a pretty realistic way. It actually does. But I never have photographers there to capture our everyday life, and most of the time during winter, that’s actually impossible. Because so far north as I am living; we barely have any daylight from October to March. We get up at 6 am in the darkness, and the second we are finished with work/school, it’s dark as hell again. Therefore, I only see my horse in daylight during the weekends. Weekdays = no photos! And mostly, normal training sessions.
So today, I left work early to get some daylight during the Christmas break! And I decided to document this day all by myself (almost). So you can have some insight in how most of our days actually are. Here’s to the dirty truth that will destroy your picture of me as a magical creature and not a normal equestrian. ENJOY!!! :D
Batman normally greets me as the happy, human-loving horse he is, and will gladly join me. HELLO MATILDE! I just had my mud-bath! It was delightful. You planned dressage today, didn’t you? Well, let’s get this grooming-party stared!
My horse used to be black. Today he had decided to turn grey. Other days he might be bright yellow, green or brown.
Mud, mud everywhere.
Look at this! He was clean and lovely yesterday!
Batman looking like a mammoth who just got out of the Russian tundra means one thing … Washing. Unfortunately, Batman hates beeing washed during winter. Also, I hate washing Batman during winter.
So he of course refused to enter the shower.
I had to ask a couple of hundred times and brag him with a carrot before I got him in. GOTCHA!
Batman suddenly realized the horror of the shower.
So he pooped in fear.
Some minutes after, and a couple of liters of water turning Matilde’s shoes wet as a day in Bergen, Batman was CLEAN! At least a part of him.
He now looked pretty much like Carletto, Jolanda Adelaar’s Murgese stallion!
Step two was to get the other 90% of my Murgese horse looking like a Friesian again.
I breathed in so much dust I’m afraid my lungs will be completely black inside tomorrow, but hey, dream-horses also need grooming.
Then I had to prepare Batman’s lunch. It’s basically 1000$ worth of expensive supplements and they stink, and it’s impossible to remove the smell from your fingers afterwards.
*Being a cute equestrian blogger presenting the feed like a heart*
But that does really not matter because I have to blend it all to get Batman to eat it anyways.
Time to get the saddle on! Only took med 10 minutes, 43 swear words and a broken fingernail to get the girth fastened. Batman is a rare mix between mammoth and puffer fish.
After all that struggle, I enjoyed a moment with my beloved and beautiful horse.
And then he kindly reminded me of something very important. MATILDE! YOU FORGOT THE CARROTS YOU MORON!!!!! So I chopped carrots for half an hour.
And theeen, finally, we were fit for fight! Woho! Now, please take a moment to enjoy my masterpiece. BACK IN BLACK!
We entered the arena. Batman had his I must pee in the corner-ritual ten times, before I finally got him to pee.
And he felt GOOD to ride today, thank the Old Gods and the New for that!
Catching a break, enjoying the stunning view.
Batman was very pleased with himself and walked to the corner, asked me to remove the tack and then went for a roll.
And then he assisted me in the removing of the poop.
The king demands his lunch!
Batman enjoying his 1000$ fancy feeds and supplements, carrots, apples and pixie-dust.
Then the King had a back massage, and we went for a little walk in rough terrain to stretch out after the training.
We jumped over some ditches and had fun, actually.
When we got home, I discovered that Batman had brought a little souvenir. I can send it to you, signed, if you pay me enough.
Peace, love and dirty Friesian hugs,
King Batman the Puffer-fish-mammoth & Matilde the slave